Waiting is a process. To be completely honest, it is a often a process that is challenging for me to endure. Yet the past few months I have learned much about the value of how I handle that waiting time. During those seemingly long times, I have learned to treasure little moments with my husband. I am valuing those quite moments when I get alone and ask God to teach me more about Himself as I walk this season out.

Tests and biopsies started back in March. Here it is the beginning of June and we just had more tests……and another time of waiting for answers. Each time we are faced with the fact that no decision or plan will be made until results are returned.

And so we wait.

And wait again.

It has been frustrating. At times I just want to pick up the phone to let the doctors know that our situation requires immediate attention. But every time I find myself starting to go down that path, I start hearing the lyrics, “He’s in the waiting.”

The waiting. He’s in the waiting. What could that really mean? Perhaps the meaning is just as simple as remembering what Paul said to the church in Philippi.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:6,7

Be anxious for nothing. That means I am relying on Him. Trusting Him to take control. It is not always an easy chose to make. On those mornings I see my husband weak and unable to do small tasks, I feel like giving up. Or when I see his face swelling and realize the doctors still do not know why, I find myself fighting discouragement. But if I would choose to keep my myself to focus on Him and not on how long the process is or what I see day to day, I might actually find myself encouraged as David said in Psalms.

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living. Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!” Ps 27:12, 14

There was that word again. WAIT. What does waiting on the Lord look like? An act of faith. Of trust. Of being able to shut out all the voices screaming in your head and turn all thoughts on Him. To sit and worship Him without having your mind attempt to plan out the details of your situation in the manner and time you want to see it happen. It is taking time to slow down and listen to what He is whispering to your heart. He already knows what the test results will show. He knows what plan the doctors will decide on. He knows what the future holds.

I am not alone in the waiting process. My family is walking this with me. Through text messages, phone calls and video calls, I keep our kids updated on dad. Others are also facing similar situations. I messaged a friend to check on her as her family is also in the midst of waiting on doctors. As I asked how she was doing, I heard her heart even through the text message of , “I’m ok.” But in truth she is brave.

See, waiting takes courage. It reveals a heart that is brave enough to say, “Lord, no matter what comes, I know I can face it because I am choosing to face it with You at my side.” It may not be what I want to do, but it is what I NEED to do in order to keep His peace. If He holds the stars in His hand and has named them all, can’t I believe He will see to every detail that I need right now in my life? These lyrics to Take Courage by Bethel Music say it so well:

Slow down, take time; Breath in He said
He’d reveal what’s to come; The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine; He’ll reveal all to come

Take courage my heart; Stay steadfast my soul
He’s in the waiting
He’s in the waiting
Hold onto your hope; As your triumph unfolds
He’s never failing
He’s never failing

Sing praise my soul; Find strength in joy
Let His Words lead you on; Do not forget
His great faithfulness; He’ll finish all He’s begun

And You who hold the stars; Who call them each by name
Will surely keep, Your promise to me; That I will rise, in Your victory
And You who hold the stars; Who call them each by name
Will surely keep, Your promise to me; That I will rise, in Your victory! He’s in the waiting.

I love what Kristene DiMarco sings at the end with this chorus. “Miracles happen when you fix your eyes on Jesus Christ.” That’s what I choose to do – fix my eyes on Jesus. And I choose to believe today that a miracle is in the making!

He is here. He is right in the midst of the waiting time with me. And there is such sweet peace felt here in the mist of the waiting.

(Here is the link to listen to Take Courage https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r49V9QcYheQ )