Not Alone

Sunday. The day that I have always set aside as a day to go worship my Lord. But not today. Today was literally a day of rest as yesterday was a bit unsettling. Friday evening we needed to up the oxygen a bit. By Saturday, we knew we needed to adjust it more as his…

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He Still Holds Us

Days after Day +100 I know many have waited for me to post about tests results. Well, I don’t even have words. In fact, doctors don’t either. But Monday morning found us back in ER. Results mostly have been great. So why then did his oxygen once drop significantly? Why was fluid around lungs again?…

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Full Circle

Day +97 A light in the midst of a tough day!! As I sat next to the bed yesterday praying off and on with Ralph, I heard a knock on the door. Nothing new. You get knocks all day long as each nurse, doctor, PCA, etc, come in. Yet as the person walked around the…

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Count it Joy

Day +90 90!! We just hit the first milestone!! Yet the weekend has been rough. He has struggled for breath to the point of gasping for air often. Whether this is a result of the fluid in his lungs finally breaking up and coming out or the bad allergy season or a combination, we don’t…

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Grateful

This cross was given to us by our daughter-in-law, Kathleen. The purpose of the gift was to help us daily write something down that we were thankful for even in the midst of this trial. The cross sits by Raphael’s bed in the hospital room. And he keeps adding to the list. It’s Day +8…

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Victory

Last week I realized that my concept of victory has shifted. A friend messaged me on my birthday with a note that she was praying this coming year would be one of many victories. Immediately the thought that popped into my mind was, “We have those now.” The thought surprised me and I had to…

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No Words Needed

For someone who loves to write, words have not been easy lately. My mind has often hit a wall. The best way to describe it is to compare it to watching a scene where someone is being chased. As they are running as hard as possible to escape, they are suddenly stopped and cannot choose…

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All the Same

There has been a song on repeat this weekend after one line of the lyrics kept coming back to me over and over. I ended up just sitting there listening to the song and feeling His comfort wash over me. Hands lifted in thankfulness, all I could do is sit there and thank my God…

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Choosing Stones

Sleep just wasn’t coming. My mind was doing hurdles through what seemed like an obstacle course of information. The first consultation with the stem cell transplant specialist left me feeling completely overwhelmed and inadequate for the task that was about to be set before me. As I lay there, all I could even pray was,…

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….And Peace Comes

At times it has been difficult to wrap my brain around all that has happened in the last two years. The last 7 months especially have spiraled quickly like a storm that completely surrounded us too fast to prepare for it. In the midst of the whirlwind, I have watched my husband physically struggle day…

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